Hotel California
by Evertwilight24
Summary: On a dark desert highway Edward and his band stumble on a lonely hotel. It's the only one for miles that actually has a vacancy. There he meets the lovely, Bella Swan. Edward wants her for himself, but when he finds, that just like the song, the hotel's programmed to receive, will Edward and his band mates be able to check out alive? Rated M for language, sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**1 - Curse of Twilight **

_**If any of you lovely readers have read any of my stories before you know by now that I'm definitely not Stephanie Meyer. However, you also may have gotten the impression that I like to play with her characters. To this, you would be correct. They are so fun to play with, especially her pretty, pretty boy toys. Oh Stephanie, thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing these delicious men into our lives. I promise to give them back when I'm done and no infringement is intended on my part. **_

_**The lyrics of 'Hotel California' are the creative genius' of Don Felder, Don Henley and Glenn Frey and is the property of the Eagles. I only repeat the lyrics here in this story for entertainment purposes only. Again no infringement is intended.**_

**I am writing this story to pay tribute to the Eagles, one of my all time favorite American rock bands. The lyrics of 'Hotel California' blows my mind. I have often pondered the lyrics to this song trying to imagine the horror. What could be more fun than combining two of my favorite things, Hotel California with Twilight. The mix is just insanely fun to think about.**

_**On a dark desert highway**_

_**Cool wind in my hair**_

_**Warm smell of colitas**_

_**Rising up through the air**_

_**Up ahead in the distance**_

_**I saw a simmering light**_

_**My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim**_

_**I had to stop for the night**_

My mind floated in a spin cycle of restful nothingness as I gazed out at the endless desert ahead. There was something ominous about that night, traveling through that long lonely stretch of the Mojave Desert. This was our last stretch before we made it back to our home base in Los Angeles. I was so ready for my own bed. Life on the road was harder than I thought it would be. Unbeknownst to Beavis and Butt Head, goofing around in the back of the bus, I was ready to call it quits. Jasper and Emmett lived for this lifestyle, but the long hours practicing and traveling combined with the drugs and binge drinking and endless women had taken it's toll on me.

Now the lead singer of the 'Curse of Twilight' my life was a jumbled mess. I had started out a easy going guy with deep love of my music. I had thought my companions shared my passion. Now days I wasn't so sure. Jacob Black, my best friend since kindergarten, and now our sound check guy/ bus driver, understood how I felt. In a way, even though he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, Jake and I held this band together. We were the ones that got us from point A to point B while Beavis and Butt Head were having an endless party.

Our last concert this tour was a freebee for our troops stationed at Fort Hood. I was so excited to do this for them but of course B & B had to spoil that too. They nearly had half the army up our asses for the way they were disrespecting some lady soldiers. I was fed up with their childish behavior. Thank God Jake was there to hall our asses to safety.

"Edward." I must have started to doze off, because my eyes snapped open to the sound of my friend's voice.

"Sorry, man." I'd promised Jake I'd help him stay awake. We had another four hours of driving before we made it to LA and then we had to fight LA traffic to get to our individual homes.

"I think I need to stop." Jake looked exhausted.

"Come on, man. You can do it." I really didn't like the idea of getting stuck out here. I had this strange phobia that if we stopped the bus it wouldn't start up again when we were ready to leave.

"Why don't you drive for a while then."

Technically, I could drive this beast. "You know what happened the last time I drove it." That wasn't pleasant. Thank goodness our manager was able to call in a favor with the LA police. I was pulled over for failure to stop at a stop light.

"I told you to get your license before we left on this tour."

"You know I have no life outside of rocking."

That's when B & B started the intro to their favorite Eagle's song, 'Hotel California'. Jasper, our bass player, was strumming away on _**my **_Fender while Emmett held his own on Jasper's bass. They could never resist playing that damn song on this stretch of highway. They knew how freaked out I got about passing through the desert to begin with. They must have been eavesdropping and decided now was the perfect time to torment me.

"Would you two cut it out," I snarled, glaring back at them. Jake was silently laughing.

"It's not funny, Jake. Those two ass clowns have tormented me enough. I don't want to spend the night in this god forsaken desert. Please just get us home."

"I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best."

"Just roll the windows down. The fresh air will do wonders."

After the three of us opened all the windows Jake still didn't look anymore energized. I wasn't liking my odds of getting out of this desert tonight. It was as if the smell of bad magic floated on the warm air that ran through my hair, causing it to stand on end.

"Jasper do you smell that smell?" Jasper's eyes widened with excitement. Emmett jumped up and stuck his drooling head out the window. I suddenly figured out what that smell actually was. _No! Anything but that!_

"Look up ahead, Jake. It's a simmering light," Emmett yelled at the wind in his face. He jumped back in his seat with a wicked grin on his face, picking up Jasper's bass. Jasper nodded.

On a dark desert highway

Cool wind in my hair

Warm smell of _**COLITAS**_

Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance

I saw a simmering light

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim

I had to stop for the night

They belted the lyric's out like a karaoke nightmare.

"Would you two shut the fuck up!" I shouted at their antics.

"Come on, Eddie. We're tired too. There has to be some kind of establishment ahead," Emmett whined.

"Where there's light…." Jasper started to agree.

"You are not buying pot!"

"Aw, just a little?"

"No way. I'm tired of living with a couple of potheads. You both need to grow up."

"Man, we really need to find you some pussy," was Emmett's cure all for anyone that didn't immediately follow his way of thinking.

"When was the last time you have partaken of the sins of the flesh, my friend?"

"Jasper," I growled at my friend. I've tried endlessly to explain to these two goofballs that I was done with the endless one night stands. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Guys, you're giving me a headache. And will you please stop calling me Eddie!" I hated that stupid name.

"That's strange." I heard Jake murmur to himself. "That wasn't here the last time we drove by this way."

I looked up. There against the backdrop of the deserts fading sunset was a rather swanky looking hotel. The sign read:

HOTEL CALIFORNIA

Vacancy

Jake pulled into the parking lot staring in quit wonder at the mysterious building that stood before us. A sense of foreboding crept down my spine. But before my fight or flight response could fully kick in I heard the glee of the Wonder Twins in the back.

"No way!" The collective minds of B & B shouted in unison. Then, before I could stop them, they were out the door.

"Damn! We should probably go get them."

"Don't look at me. I'm sleeping on the bus. You never know when those ass clowns will need a quick get away again."

He was right, of course. The Fort Hood incident taught us that we should be prepared for anything when it came to those two.

"All right. I guess you get your wish, my friend. If you want to man the fort, I'll keep the Wonder Twins out of trouble."

"If they're the Wonder Twins does that make you their monkey sidekick Gleek?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny, Jake." I turned in a huff towards my gloomy future.

**Okay, don't forget. I'm keeping track of all your reviews. I'm posting a the first chapter of four stories today. **

**Stuck On A Cloud**

**Spirit In the Sky**

**Hotel California**

**The Purpose of Forever**

**The story with the most reviews is the one I'll be working on next, along with my companion story to Married to the Enemy. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**2 - Heaven or Hell **

_**If any of you lovely readers have read any of my stories before you know by now that I'm definitely not Stephanie Meyer. However, you also may have gotten the impression that I like to play with her characters. To this, you would be correct. They are so fun to play with, especially her pretty, pretty boy toys. Oh Stephanie, thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing these delicious men into our lives. I promise to give them back when I'm done and no infringement is intended on my part. **_

_**The lyrics of 'Hotel California' are the creative genius' of Don Felder, Don Henley and Glenn Frey and is the property of the Eagles. I only repeat the lyrics here in this story for entertainment purposes only. Again no infringement is intended.**_

**I've decided to give all my readers one more taste of the four stories I have in mind to finish writing next. I just figured it would give you a better idea which story you're most interested in. **

**Four stories are: Stuck On A Cloud, Spirit In The Sky, Hotel California, The Purpose of Forever.**

**Happy Reading.**

**There she stood in the doorway**

**I heard the mission bell**

**And I was thinking to myself**

**This could be heaven or this could be hell**

**Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way**

**There were voices down the corridor**

**I thought I heard them say…**

I jogged around the bus to find B & B standing frozen in the middle of the parking lot. I glanced up at the building curious as to what they were gawking at. The structure was unusual, but never the less exquisite, built like a Spanish castle or cathedral. Then I noticed, as if the building wasn't unusual enough, the parking lot was full of cars dating back to the early nineteen hundreds to modern day. There was even a horse tied to a post with a water troth for it to drink from. I raked my fingers through my hair in dismay, a nervous habit I picked up from my father. _What the hell? Hell…_ I cringed at the thought of the dreaded four letter word.

That's when I heard the eerie gong of what must have been an enormous bell. Sure enough at second glance I noticed a bell tower. _What an odd structure. _

"There she stood in the doorway," I heard Jasper whisper in awe.

"I heard the mission bell," Emmett chimed in.

I snuck up behind them and smacked them on the back of their heads. "Would you two fuckwits shut it already."

I found my eyes drifting to the doorway where SHE stood, the most beautiful woman to ever grace the earth. She wore a dark blue gown of simmering satin that clung to her curves like flower pedals on a rose bud. My eyes drifted down her body to her pretty red painted toes poking out from her stilettos, then back up, lingering on her long creamy white legs. I blinked, focusing briefly on her tiny waist line before my eyes zeroed in on the most glorious set of tits I'd ever laid eyes on, and that was saying something. Long tendrils of raven colored silk spilled over the curve of her pale delicate shoulders. All that was left for my eyes to feast on was her lovely face. _So this is what it's like to fall. Death by Chocolate, _I thought to myself as realized I'd die a happy man if I were to fall, lost forever, in her soft doe eyes. I watched, mesmerized, as her ruby lips parted slightly, pearly white teeth biting down on the her bottom lip, in a small sexy smirk. I moaned as my dick strained against my jeans.

"Dibs," I stated firmly, to which B & B only grumbled.

_This could be heaven or this could be hell_, I chuckled as I repeated the song lyrics to myself.

"Welcome to the Hotel California," she said at our approach, but then I thought I heard voices down the corridor whisper the same thing.

I shook my head in disbelief. It must have been an echo. "Just like the song" Emmett whispered. "Hello , my name is Bella. This way boys,' my mystery girl directed pleasantly, after lighting a candle. As we started to follow her more words of welcome seemed to whisper in the darkness behind our footsteps.

"The electricity must be out," Emmett, always the first one to state the obvious, said.

"Could the song have been written as a warning?" Jasper whispered behind her back. Normally I would have been smacking him again, but I couldn't help wondering the same thing myself.

I sighed apprehensively as I shot one last look over my shoulder, hoping to feel reassured by our bus setting in the parking lot. No such luck.

My beautiful Bella… (My? Mmm, I wish.) She lead us down a slightly curved corridor. Showing us each to our own room, with king sized bed and each having a hurricane lamp perched on top a vanity dresser and each it's own in ensuite bathroom . My friends dived gleefully onto their beds, leaving me alone with my dream girl.

"Don't we need to check in first, beautiful?" I smiled my signature panty melting grin. Bella smiled politely, but otherwise seemed unaffected by my flirting.

"Nonsense… um…"

"Oh, forgive me. My name's Edward," I laughed. I was so use to most people already knowing who I was it was a pleasant surprise not to have to deal with an unruly fan girl. Bella quirked one thin brow at me questioning my amusement. I extended my hand, "Edward Cullen." Zero recognition register behind those dark doe-like eyes. However, she offered her hand in return, knuckles up. Um… I felt like a dumb ass, blushing, never having kissed a ladies hand before. _Who was this strange enchantress?_

She smiled sweetly as I brushed my lips over the soft skin of her knuckles. A surge of electricity shot from my lips through my body straight to my dick. I groaned involuntarily.

Bella giggled as if she sensed my predicament in the darkness.

I smiled apologetically, to which she only smiled sweetly. _Innocence._ There was no mistaking it. After being with so many slutty women this was like a warning beacon telling me to tread lightly, telling me she was beauty, sweetness, and innocence all rolled up in one convent package. Somehow I had to make her mine.

"Edward." My name, spoken like a prayer on her lips as she giggled, reaching up to close my gapping mouth.

"Edward," she purred softly. "A very handsome name for a very handsome man."

"Eh mmm. Thanks." I said stupidly.

"There's no need check in tonight, we can settle up in the morning, handsome." She winked.

_She winked!_

Then she blushed crimson looking shyly down at her pretty painted toes. "Maybe I'll see you later this evening in the courtyard."

"Mmmm, maybe I agreed without really registering what she had said."

"See you later, handsome Edward." she waved.

"Later." I waved, watching her turn gracefully on her heel and almost float back down the hall.

**Mmmm… The courtyard…. Sweet Summer Sweat. Need I say more?**


End file.
